Gabrielle Union Said Therapy "Freed" Her From the "Constant Need to Be Validated"

At 50 years old, it seems like Gabrielle Union has got it all figured out (see: her adorable family, her enviable fashion sense, and her thriving career). But in a super-relatable plot twist, Union spent years feeling like she wasn't enough. During an episode of Netflix’s Skip Intro podcast, Union opened up about a time when she struggled with her self-worth, especially at the beginning of her career.

“I just wanted it so badly,” she said of making it in the industry. “And it’s beyond being chosen for a role, it’s feeling like I was chosen because I was attractive … I didn’t care if you thought I was a good actor, I just wanted to know that someone outside of my parents thinks I am cute, attractive, lovely, whatever.”

According to Self, the star got her start through modeling, small roles, and beauty contests. At one point, Union was rejected from a role because of her appearance. “It just robbed me of my confidence, my joy,” she recalled. “I just felt like I was exposed as hideous, and what do you do with that?”

Even after being cast in Bring It On, Union said she still felt the need to be viewed as “amazing, beautiful." Someone recommended therapy to the actress to work through her need for validation and "daddy issues.” She eventually confronted the childhood trauma by speaking with her father.

“I was like, ‘Why did you never tell me I was pretty?’” she explained. “And he was like, ‘Pretty doesn’t pay the bills. You’re Black. I’m Black. Your mom’s Black. Your grandparents are Black. We didn’t come from shit. I came from the projects. Being pretty never helped any one of us. So I thought I was encouraging you to be a great athlete, to be a great student, to be a great person …’ And I was like, 'Damn.'”

After years of therapy and self-discovery, Union had the epiphany that other people's opinions of her shouldn't matter. “I can’t be invested in your opinion of me, or anyone’s opinion of me. My truth just is. And it’s none of my business how anyone else responds or reacts.”

This realization eventually "freed" her “from the constant need to be validated by a man, a job, an opportunity, a cover, whatever.”

"I’m good, in every hood, being exactly who the hell I am,” she added. “And at some point, that’s enough. I’m finally, at 50, like, 'Oh, yeah.'”