Jada Pinkett Smith Is Finally Bringing Her Truth to the Table

So much of Jada Pinkett Smith’s brand is built on the pillar of honesty and laying it all out on the table (a round red one, perhaps?). And yet, the actress has been keeping her own secrets for many years. 

Until now. Today, Pinkett Smith is sharing her truth through her new memoir, Worthy, in which she poignantly and very descriptively recounts stories from her childhood to present day in a narrative writing style that, at times, reads more fiction than nonfiction. Throughout the book, a courageous Pinkett Smith addresses a series of difficult topics that include heartbreak, grief, loss, motherhood, depression, suicidal ideation, and “The Holy Slap” (as she calls it). Worthy sucks the reader into the world of ‘80s Baltimore and a booming Los Angeles during the hip-hop renaissance and the era of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

“I feel like my journey is so outside of what people expect,” she tells InStyle. “I'm an entertainer and a storyteller, so I got to immerse you. I have to bring you into the experience with me.”

And that she does. At each turn, Pinkett Smith reveals deep and sometimes dark truths about herself, her life, and her struggle with her mental health. She ends every chapter with a word of wisdom to guide readers facing similar situations in their own lives. “I didn't want to drop this heavy of a journey and not leave some breadcrumbs,” she explains.

The release comes less than a week after Pinkett Smith made headlines for revealing on TODAY that she and husband Will Smith have secretly been separated for seven years. The revelation flooded news feeds and shocked pop culture aficionados everywhere because — Oscar slaps and infamous “entanglements” notwithstanding — the husband-and-wife duo has long been known as a Hollywood power couple. 

In Worthy, Pinkett Smith goes into further detail about the pair’s relationship evolution. The Red Table Talk host writes that she and Will have been living “separate lives” since 2016, all the while attending public events together. The two have remained friends and business partners and, because of the sacred promise she made to Will years ago, there are no plans to legally divorce.

Where does that leave them now? Pinkett Smith writes in the final chapter that Will will always be a “King of [her] heart.” She also tells us that writing Worthy (and, in Will’s case, reading it) has been a cathartic experience and one that has benefited their relationship “a lot.”

“It's been so interesting because you think you know somebody, and that's the thing, you never stop learning about your partner,” she explains. “You get to learn so much without having to ask the questions. I think that's been a huge benefit. It's really beautiful.”

Ahead, Pinkett Smith discusses the death of her good friend Tupac Shakur, her mental health journey, and the not-too-far-off future of Red Table Talk.

You open up in the book about living with depression and experiencing suicidal ideation. Why was it important to you to share that part of your story with the world?

I think there's a lot of misinformation, period. Somebody would look at me and say, "Well, you have everything. What was the problem?" The idea that material things can exempt you from mental health issues… Being misunderstood happens because we think that mental health problems or someone who's going through severe depression looks a certain way: Curled up in a corner somewhere [or] can't get out of bed. It doesn't always look like that. I know that there are so many people who struggle in silence, just like I had for so long. People who have been or are struggling intensely may feel like they don't have the right to feel a lot of shame around it.

How has writing about your mental health struggles helped you to heal?

I think I really came through that passage. I think I was more concerned about my kids. They totally get it, but they had no idea that I had been struggling in that way, nor would they. I know that they knew that I wasn't happy, but they didn't quite know the severity of what I was going through. So, I knew that [it] would be hard for them to hear that I was looking for a way to take my life. I was very high functioning in my depression. I was very unhappy, but I could function to a level in which nobody would suspect that I was suicidal. 

You talk about your relationship with Tupac in the book; Duane Davis was recently arrested and charged with his murder. How does it feel to have a little bit of justice be served?

My biggest question is: Who called the hit? And so I know that someone's been arrested, but I need that answered for me to really feel like justice in its completeness is being served. Who called the hit?

Hopefully it’s a step in the right direction, though.

That's what I was happy about. Hopefully we'll get the answers that can bring us some closure and that's what I'm really hoping for. We'll see.

You write about your marriage to Will Smith. At one point, you recounted falling in love and maybe ignoring some red flags. Do you have any advice now for those two young kids in love?

What do you tell two young people in love? It's so hard. We were big romantics in our own way. I think that all young people are big romantics because we don't know a lot about love yet. Most of us come from environments where parents aren't really showing the best examples of what love is all about. What I would tell those two is just understand there's a lot to learn here. Understand that you are in the beginning, beginning, beginning stages of how to relate to one another, and that this relationship, this is the big one. This relationship is about you learning how to love. This relationship is about you learning how to love yourselves and learning how to love one another. That is not an easy thing. I know you're in what we call the “honeymoon stage,” but in order to understand those other higher components of love, you'll be tested greatly. 

How did you decide to share that you and Will have been separated since 2016, and was that a joint decision or conversation you had? Has writing about it benefited your relationship at all?

I'll definitely say it's benefited a lot. It's been so interesting because you think you know somebody and, that's the thing, you never stop learning about your partner. I think for Will, it gave him such intimate insight into everything in a way that I don't know if he would've had without a book. Because you don't go, "Hey, sit and tell me, go into detail about generational trauma between your great-grandmother, your grandmother, your mother, and you." 

Have your kids read the book yet and what do they think?

What I did was tell them what's in the book, what stories I was going to tell about them specifically, and [ask] if they were okay with that. Willow has read [it], she's an avid reader, and she's the next author in the family. She has a [fiction] book coming out on May 7 [2024]. But she read a huge part of my book before it was even edited, so she loved it. She couldn't wait, she's like, "Mom, I'm taking this copy. I got to finish my read." She was super excited about it. But the boys [Jaden Smith and Trey Smith, who Will shares with ex-wife Sheree Zampino], I just told them what was in it. They'll read it eventually.

You write about your journey and your experience with ayahuasca. What are some of the misconceptions that people have about it and what is one public perception that you would like to change?

I think the idea that it's a drug and that it's something you use… it's some woo-woo recreational situation. It's a plant [with] medicinal properties for the mind and spirit, and it is not something you do recreationally. This is a really revered plant that has been used by so many Indigenous communities in Latin America for healing purposes. I feel really grateful that I was introduced to the tradition, I was introduced to the plant; it's been very helpful to my life. I would say that anybody who desires to experience it, make sure that you're with a veteran practitioner, someone who's been working with the plant for at least 10 years.

What was the writing process like?

I mapped out in my mind the journey. So, I was like, Okay, create an outline of that journey from childhood to where you are today. I knew I wanted to write a book from feeling unlovable to feeling lovable, feeling unworthy to worthy.  Each chapter dictated what the content would be, what the theme of that chapter would be. And then I would say [to myself], Okay, what stories in my life at this time in my life support this theme?

At the end of each chapter, you leave a little life lesson. Why was it important to pass along words of wisdom to the readers?

The whole purpose of me writing the book was to really demonstrate the journey to self-worth that I've been on. I knew that it's been a really heavy journey, and I wanted to leave little breadcrumbs. Everybody's life is uniquely different and what we need to get through certain sticky points will be different. I'm just going to drop how I got through certain periods of my life and hope that for people who might be stuck in a certain area, that it might give them just a little oxygen, a little bit of a doorway or hope.

Were there any other memoirs or books that inspired you?

There definitely have been memoirs that I've loved reading, but I really wanted to do something different. I used one of my favorite books Women Who Run With the Wolves [by Clarissa Pinkola Estés] as a guide, because that book has been in my life since I was 19, 20 years old, and throughout different stages of my womanhood. So that's been a book that I've had that has been with me throughout the years. 

Who was the best guest that you, Willow, and your mother, Adrienne, had on Red Table Talk?

Oh, man, there isn't just one. We've had so many incredible conversations. And what's so crazy is that we left so much on the editing floor. Jane Elliott and Angela Davis were pretty good. They're cute.

Has anyone ever declined coming on the show?

What's funny about our show is that people would call us. There's only been a few times that we've asked, and usually it was because something was going on in the media. Somebody needed a place for their voice. 

Red Table Talk was canceled by Meta after they ended the Facebook Watch originals. What is the future of the show?

We are in the middle of negotiation, so, next year. I feel like now, with this book, I'm going to really be able to dive into some deeper topics.

What is one thing that you learned about yourself while writing Worthy?

I knew that I'd lived a lot of life, but I hadn't been aware of how much life I've lived. Even this book is really scratching the surface, honestly. There are so many other adventures and stories to tell, and I was really proud of myself. I was like, Wow, Jada, you've come through a lot. I think for the first time, I could authentically look at myself and be proud. For all of it. The murky, muddy, dirty, the beauty, the gold, the sunshine, and the rain. As Pinkola Estés would say, "I am a well-written upon woman.” That's for sure.

If you're in crisis, call the hotline or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741, call 911, or go to your nearest hospital.