Jennifer Lopez Had "PTSD" Before Marrying Ben Affleck in Vegas

Last year, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck tied the knot during an impromptu Las Vegas wedding before having a lavish celebration with friends and family at Affleck's Georgia estate in August, but little did everyone know, J.Lo was experiencing a different kind of cold feet before their elopement. During an interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live! yesterday, Lopez opened up about having "PTSD" from when the couple's first engagement "fell apart" in 2004

“We were so happy and, of course, it was happening, but the wedding was so stressful,” she explained to Kimmel, adding that she couldn't believe it was "really happening" this time around. Affleck had the idea to just go say "I do" as soon as possible in Vegas. “One day, Ben just said, ‘Fuck it, let’s just go to Vegas and get married tonight,'” she recalled. “He said, ‘Go to rehearsal. When you get back here, I’ll have everything set up.'”

At Wednesday's premiere of Lopez's new movie Shotgun Wedding, the multi-hyphenate also got candid about the "struggle" of balancing both her career and personal life. "How do I say this? I put my best foot forward as much as I can," she told People. "I'm not one to share my angst. I don't feel like that's my life as a performer. You always show the best of you. But I'm a human being like everybody else, and I suffer in silence at times."

With her upcoming album This Is Me ... Now on the horizon, she added that she often wonders what aspects of her life she should share with her fans. "I have an album coming out and I've been thinking a lot about that  — like, what parts of myself do I share with my audience? And what it means to be an artist and to be authentic," Lopez explained. "And I feel like there are some things that need to be said and shared because I think, like you just said, it's like, 'Oh, you have it all together.' "

She concluded, "But the truth is, I'm just like anybody else. I struggle at times, and I wonder at times and I doubt at times, and I'm insecure."