'Twas the month before Christmas,
And all through our screens,
Streamed holiday movies
Starring men in sweaters and jeans.
As we watch Hallmark specials
And old classics with hot dads,
We’ve found ourselves drooling,
So we made a calendar of scrumptious lads.
Return each day for a different gentleman
Starting on December First.
Whether it be a sexy elf or Mr. Napkinhead,
Your days will be filled with thirst.
We can’t forget about Festivus;
Sandler's the king of Hanukkah,
But Ross's Holiday Armadillo takes the cake…
Just ask Monica.
Year after year, these men have served
A feast on a silver platter.
Not just sweet snacks, they’re the whole meal;
That’s the truth of the matter.
Whether you wait up for Santa or spin a dreidel,
It’s time to get in the (festive) mood.
So, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah to all;
Enjoy these 24 days of dishy holiday dudes!
The Men of 'Love Actually'
You thought we'd forgotten about Love Actually, hadn't you? You were ready to cancel your subscriptions (jk, we don't have those anymore) thanks to the egregious oversight. But little did you know, we were saving the best for last. Love Actually, that Christmas classic (celebrating it's 20th anniversary this year!), features not one, not two, but nearly a dozen dishy dudes. Alternate title: Hot Men Actually. There's Bill Nighy's Christmas Eve national TV striptease. Martin Freeman with his precious post-kiss stair hop. Chiwetel Ejiofor in a cardigan telling the "carol singers" to "bugger off." Hugh Grant shaking his arms and hips through 10 Downing Street. Colin Firth in a collar-up tweed coat asking Aurelia to "marriage" him in just-learned Portuguese. Honestly, no notes. Okay, one note: More shirtless Rodrigo Santoro please. Make my wish come true. Baby, all we want for Christmas is ... each and every one of them.
Jerry Stiller in 'Seinfeld: The Strike'
Dust off your aluminum poles and bring out your list of grievances, it’s Festivus time! Jerry Stiller’s iconic character, Frank Constanza on Seinfeld, is best known for his tradition of sitting his family down for a non-commercialized holiday and telling them everything they did wrong in the past year. Chaotic? Sure. A progressive act towards bettering the mental health of families everywhere? Absolutely. So, in honor of Jerry: Grab your loved ones close today, tell them how you really feel, and then wrestle them to the ground to establish your dominance. You’ll feel lighter than you have all year. A Festivus miracle!
Dermot Mulroney in 'The Family Stone'
Boasting an incredible cast (Rachel McAdams, Craig T. Nelson, Claire Danes, and Luke Wilson to name a few), The Family Stone smacks you in the face with family discord from the moment the camera pans up to reveal Stone family matriarch, THE Diane Keaton. At the center of all the friction? None other than the eldest boy: Everett. Chiseled, handsome, and oh-so-very-lost, Everett Stone (played by swoony Dermot Mulroney) finds himself thrown under the judgemental gaze of his family members as he arrives for the holidays with his new, uptight girlfriend, Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker). I told you this cast was stacked, right? As scene after uncomfortable scene unfolds, Everett can’t help but wonder if he’s setting himself up for a loveless marriage. Enter Claire Danes, the polar opposite sister of Meredith, who comes to save her—only to actually save Everett from himself. Classic older sibling/younger sibling archetypes play out. Diane Keaton throws a fork across the dinner table. And Dermot Mulroney wears the heck out of a black turtleneck. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry … you’ll feel better about your own family’s dysfunctional holiday gatherings.
Jim Carrey in 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas'
Jim Carrey deserves so many accolades for his absolutely riveting performance as none other than the mean one himself, Dr. Seuss's The Grinch. Not only did he endure eight and a half hours in the makeup chair to transform into The Grinch nearly every day while shooting, but he also underwent CIA training to develop the patience for it. On the screen, Carrey managed to find the delicate balance of snark and humor that made him instantly loveable. His commitment to the bit, signature grouch, and memeable one-liners won over audiences everywhere. Myself included.
Mario Lopez in 'Holiday in Handcuffs'
You know him, you love him. (And, probably, so does your mom.) Saved By the Bell alum Mario Lopez stars alongside Melissa Joan Hart in the 2007 film Holiday in Handcuffs. It's a tale as old as time: Girl gets broken up with right before the holidays. Girl goes to work at a local restaurant and has a nervous breakdown. Girl kidnaps random attractive customer and forces him to pose as her boyfriend for Christmas in a secluded cabin with her entire family, and thus, they fall in love. Simple! Maybe I should try this tactic out this year? This movie has everything, Mario Lopez in golf pants, Mario Lopez playing hockey, Mario Lopez shaving shirtless and so, so much more. Wishlist granted!
Morris Chestnut in 'The Perfect Holidays'
Morris Chestnut is at his swoon-worthy best in The Perfect Holiday as a struggling single dad and aspiring songwriter. Let's just say, a mall Santa Claus has never looked sexier. I mean, the man could melt polar icecaps with the seductive way he compliments co-star Gabrielle Union in that pivotal scene. And we can't forget his blinding pearly whites and dazzling smile. Bright enough to light up my tree!
Vince Vaughn in 'Four Christmases'
Vince Vaughn in Four Christmases is proof that while Grinches come in many shapes and sizes, all of them are undeniably sexy — and that’s a moral dilemma we just have to be willing to accept. Sure, Vaughn’s character may start off by lying to his family to avoid spending time with them during the holidays, but he literally pins Reese Witherspoon against a wall within the first five minutes of the film. Suddenly those red flags look a little greener (which, coincidentally, is perfect for Christmas). Watch as Vaughn and Witherspoon navigate the age-old dilemma of going home for the holidays—where they eventually learn that maybe family isn’t so bad after all.
Josh Gad as Olaf in 'Frozen'
Sure, Olaf is an animated anthropomorphic snowman who doesn't understand laws of thermodynamics, but he's also deeply thoughtful, caring, loyal ... and likes warm hugs. Plus, he's the funniest character in Frozen — thanks to the undeniable comedic timing of the man behind the myth and the legend, Josh Gad. And don't we all love a guy who can make us laugh? Some people are worth melting for.
Brett Goldstein in 'Ted Lasso'
Is there anything sexier than a man who adores the children in his life? Especially one with a deep, raspy voice and a perma-pensive brow? Me thinks not. Exhibit A: Roy Kent, the hotheaded bruiser with a heart of gold. In Ted Lasso's season 2 Christmas episode (one of the best of the series, imho), Brett Goldstein as Roy and Juno Temple as Keeley are supposed to celebrate "Sexy Christmas." He shows up looking quite dapper in a dark suit but has his niece, Phoebe, who's suffering from some dental issues, in tow. The three go on to recreate two iconic scenes from another quintessential bit of Christmas pop culture — Love Actually. Just try not to swoon as Roy, a bit of tinsel as a boutonniere, strides through the streets of London in an effort to make his best girls smile. Sexy Christmas, indeed.
John Legend 'A Legendary Christmas' Album
The second I hear those smooth, jazzy vocals, I'm immediately transported to my cozy living room, a cup of eggnog in hand. In true John Legend fashion, his A Legendary Christmas album is made up of beloved Christmas classics and a few new songs that show off his inimitable EGOT-winning songwriting skills. Plus, he and his wife Chrissy Teigen are always sharing adorable family content on the 'Gram, so I'll be following along with their special traditions all season long.
David Schwimmer in 'Friends: The One With the Holiday Armadillo'
Amongst Friends fanatics, Thanksgiving tends to get all the holiday recognition for the show’s beloved flashback episodes, but let’s not sleep on the Hanukkah and Christmas specials. There is perhaps no greater out-of-left-field use of David Schwimmer’s brilliant and bizarre knack for physical comedy than the holiday armadillo. Here’s the setup: In a moment of divorced dad overcompensation, Ross decides to entertain Ben with an armadillo costume after he discovers all the Santa suits in the tri-state area are spoken for. Hilarity ensues, and Ben learns to appreciate Hanukkah. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get all the benefits of a good Friends comfort watch involving Joey in a superman suit. Bonus holiday feels for Matthew Perry showing up at the last minute in a Santa costume and stealing Ross’s thunder. The whole bit is a true holiday (armadillo) miracle.
Harry Shum Jr. in 'Love Hard'
Love Hard perfectly fits my vibe for go-to holiday movies — silly and romantic with a bonkers plot line. (Spoiler alert: It includes catfishing and a writer with a really mean assignment). Shum plays an older brother who needs to be the center of attention at every second of every day. His himbo antics add another layer of WTF energy to a film that already makes very little sense. And I love it dearly.
Kendrick Sampson in 'Something From Tiffany's'
There's nothing like a pair of fine eyes – except, well, a fine everything. Call it a stroke of Christmas luck or a true holiday miracle, but bumping into Kendrick Sampson's adorable Ethan Greene in Something From Tiffany's is without a doubt a gift every single one of us should wish for. Just add the delicious carbohydrates that make frequent appearances in the film and, well, you have the perfect holiday snack.
James Stewart in 'It's a Wonderful Life'
It's a Wonderful Life is an all-time classic Christmas movie (one of the many interpretations of the Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol), and James Stewart as George Bailey is, without a doubt, the heart of the film. Still, the movie doesn't shy away from sharing George's personal struggles during a time that is considered to be the most joyful of the year — a topic to which so many people can relate. Stewart's portrayal of George was so profound that the actor even scored an Oscar nomination for his peformance. No matter how many times I've seen it, Jimmy's iconic wink and grin when he comes running down the street with a newfound appreciation of life still fills me with enough warmth to last all season long.
David Krumholtz in 'The Santa Clause'
I have vivid memories of cozying up next to my sister when we were younger to watch The Santa Clause movies. As we’ve gotten older, we’ve realized that our love for the movies didn’t stem from the magic of Santa, but rather our mutual infatuation with the big man's second in command, Bernard (played by David Krumholtz). I don’t know if it was his hot cocoa-making skills, gruff Brooklyn accent, or sense of authority, but there was something about Santa’s head elf that had our eyes glued to the screen. Oh, and those curls? Drop the haircare routine, Bernard!
Edgar Ramirez in 'Joy'
From Bourne baddie to David O. Russell headliner? Get a man who has the range. While Joy isn't the Hallmark-style holiday flick you might queue up this time of year, it's a critical darling that earned Ramirez a place in the good (ex) husband hall of fame and offered a chance for him to show off his singing chops.
Ryan Reynolds in 'Spirited'
Normally, Ryan Reynolds’s overly self-referential and smarmy try-hard characters turn me away, but call it a Christmas miracle because Clint Briggs won me over with his undeniable charm and wit. Of course, the whole shtick is that he’s a heartless, alturist, so I probably need to check on my standards (the dating world is dismal, folks). Still, maybe it’s the earnest way he threw himself into musical numbers, despite having zero background in the genre, or it’s his tap dancing skills alongside greats like Will Ferrell and Octavia Spencer. Either way, he makes this umpteenth rendition of the Charles Dickens classic standout among the others.
Adam Sandler in 'Eight Crazy Nights'
Put "The Chanukah Song" right up there with "All I Want For Christmas Is You" as the bop of the season — and don't forget there's an entire animated film to go with Adam Sandler's ode to the festival of lights. Perennial fashion icon, sweetest dad ever, and a holiday standby? There are so many reasons to love Sandler and his unique brand of Hollywood charm.
Will Ferrell in 'Elf'
While I don’t normally go for men in tights, there’s just something about Will Ferrell running around New York City (and the North Pole) in a green fur-trimmed jacket and neon yellow hosiery that does things to a girl. Couple it with Buddy the Elf's sweet personality, knack for masonry (legos count, right?), and never-ending stream of quotable one-liners, and you’ve pretty much got my dream guy — plus, he’s an elf who’s 6’3”. Swoon!!! Come for the holiday classic’s heart-warming message and endless laughs, and stay for its picturesque NYC backdrops, syrup-based recipe inspo, and, of course, Zooey Deschanel's angelic voice.
Taye Diggs in 'The Best Man Holiday'
Taye Diggs’s smile is so bright and magnetic that I blush just witnessing it on screen. But, he’s not just a pretty face. His comedic timing as the flawed, guilt-ridden writer Harper Stewart makes him eminently more likable. Plus, no one rocks a hat like he does, whether it's a newsboy cap or the fedora he sports in that iconic dance scene with his male co-stars.
Dan Levy in 'Happiest Season'
Everybody needs a ride-or-die bestie like John, the role Dan Levy takes on in Happiest Season, a not-quite rom-com all about coming home — and coming out – for the holidays. Played to perfection with his signature acerbic humor and comedic timing, Levy brings much needed levity (har har) to a movie that, frankly, needs a bit of Schitt's Creek sparkle added to its Christmas tidings. If it weren't for Levy's deliciously withering one-liners — his famed eyebrows raised in shocked indignation should be billed in the ensemble cast — and deep down devotion to his BFF (who can't quite admit to her conservative family that the girl she brought home is the one of her dreams), the flick may have turned out to be less Kris Kringle cheer, more cringe-fest. No shade, Happiest Season is still a rollicking Christmas ride through the messiness of growing up, going home, and the relationships we outgrow in-between.
Henry Golding in 'Last Christmas'
Is my brand of holiday entertainment classic songs turned into feature-length films? Yes. Henry Golding's signature charm, charisma, and devastating good looks are exactly what the holidays need — and the only way to make Wham!'s Christmas anthem even better. And Michelle Yeoh as "Santa"? No notes for this movie, except don't go into it thinking it's your usual winter rom-com, because it's not.
Michael Bublé 'Christmas' Album
Nothing makes me feel more nostalgic than wrapping myself in a cashmere blanket by the fire while listening to my favorite Christmas songs. OK, so I don't have a fireplace in my apartment, but I do have Michael Bublé's Christmas album playing on an endless loop while I livestream a video of an actual fireplace on my TV — and that's basically the same thing! There's something so familiar and comforting about this holiday crooner's voice that whenever I hear him sing I can't help but to feel just a little bit more merry.
Jude Law in 'The Holiday'
Something about this single zaddy of two makes my insides all warm and fuzzy — especially when he appears on Amanda’s (Cameron Diaz) doorstep as a babbling dude-in-distress after being overserved at his local pub. If his charming accent and brazen good looks aren’t enough to make you melt, then his Mr. Napkinhead character and hopeless romantic tendencies ought to do it. Bonus points to Graham for being a girl dad long before it was considered cool.